Day 40 - Coming Home

Cleo was naturally down last night, having had to return to the hospital, being away from the comforts of home, and family, and a couple of our phone conversations quite late yesterday underlined that. There were tears, and a resentment about being apart again after we had managed very well at home over Christmas. Of course it was only for a couple of days, and she would be back at home for New Year's Eve. The promise then was, provided that all went well over the next week, she would probably be discharged early in January.

This morning, we got great news! They are discharging her.

James is going to see cleo as an outpatient for a while, which is unusual, and OT have given their approval for her to come home on New years eve, and subject to a call from james to home to check everything is OK on Tuesday she can stay. So, I will collect her in the morning, and I would suggest that the first part of cleos Road to Recovery has been successfully negotiated. From here it will be about her perseverance, and much more working on her own rather than with a physiotherapist every day.

That is not to say the next few weeks and months will be any easier, far from it, and the work that must now be undertaken is much more in our hands rather than someone else's. We will need to set personal goals, and better define the routines we have at home. Of course having cleo at home will be brilliant, and she will be far better off there, but that will mean some changes in certain things at home: not least for the girls. They have been wonderful, and Sarah of course has accepted responsibility for looking after her mum when I am at work, which for a 17 year old in her final year of A-levels is a massive undertaking, and one for which both I and cleo are very grateful.

When i look back over the last (nearly) six weeks, the highs and lows, the tears and laughter, I am struck by one thing which has shone through this time, and that is the love which cleo and i have for each other. That love has certainly made me stronger, and has helped to drive me through the bad times; times when i have sat at home alone and cried, when I have felt totally drained by the emotional turmoil of worrying about my cleo.

From now on our fight to get cleo better takes a new direction as i have said, and I hope that the love and deep feelings i have for cleo will help her to make the progress we all wish for her.

The Road to Recovery is nowhere near it's end yet, but with the New Year and cleo at home we as a family can concentrate all our efforts on her, and her recovery. In a sense it's a new start and a new chapter in this diary.

To all our friends who have sent well wishes and messages, and kept up to date with this record, cleo and i would like to say, yet again, many many thanks for that support. We wish you all a happy, prosperous and especially a healthy 2006.

Welcome home cleo!

Every Breath You Take

Good words to this great song by Sting, with the sentiment that I will be watching my cleo through every step of the way.

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break,
Every step you take
I'll be watchin' you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play,
Every night you stay
I'll be watchin' you

Oh, can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart breaks
With every step you take

Every move you make
And every vow you break
Every smile you fake,
Every claim you stake
I'll be watchin' you

Since you've gone
I been lost without a trace
I dream at night,
I can only see your face
I look around but it's you
I can't replace
I feel so cold
and I long for your embrace
I keep cryin',
Baby, baby, please

I'll be watchin' you