Day 36 - Stairway To Heaven

Very often, when a climber is asked why he climbed a difficult mountain, the response is along the lines "Because it was there, I just had to do it...." Many things in our lives become personal goals, and while to others they may seem small and insignificant, to the person whose goal that is, they are driven by some inner strength, and a need to reach the top of their private mountain.

Our private Everest this Christmas is the top of the stairs in our house. Cleo and I, as I have said before, are a team, and very little that we set our mind to do we cannot achieve, within reason. Certain things are very important to us, and our togetherness is paramount: we do not manage well when we are apart, and being together makes us both stronger for that. We have to be close, and our own private domain is our bedroom. The house of course is ours, but we share that with the girls; our bedroom is our private space, and it's where we are closest, and that room is upstairs in the house.

It took us a couple of attempts, but we did it. We found the method to get cleo up the stairs and into the bedroom. Not for any other reason that we both had a need to be close, and sleep in each others arms in "our bed" (a large king sized pine bed, which was the first piece of real furniture we bought after we moved in together). We have a sofa bed downstairs and the plan was always for cleo to sleep there. That really was not going to happen, was it? I don't think so.

I will have to admit this fact now to the care team, even though they thought she was going to remain downstairs; we have negotiated the stairs, safely, and without incident a couple of times, and again this evening, we will retire to our room, and our bed. Sometimes it is important to push ones personal limits, and getting up the stairs tested cleos of course, but, if anyone had seen the smile on her face as we got her into bed upstairs they would have agreed that this was undoubtedly the right decision, for cleo and for her emotional well being. I stand by that, and will defend it to anyone.

We have been quite "normal" today. That for us is the best thing, and while we still have to help cleo move around, it is becoming far less obtrusive than it was earlier as we are all getting accustomed to the way we need to do things for now. Even Sarah took her mum to the toilet while I was out for a while, and I am sure that will have given them confidence in each other, which is good.

Stairway To Heaven

Not totally relevant words, but the fact we got cleo upstairs sort of screamed at me that we had to have these words today: good song too. The words say "she's buying a stairway to heaven..." I cannot possibly put a price on that today, to have held my cleo in my arms asleep, last night.

"There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it really makes me wonder

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forest will echo with laughter

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May Queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
And it makes me wonder

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll

And she's buying the stairway to heaven" Led Zeppelin