Day 107 - Bad Day at the Office?

I have to admit that sometimes, not often, just occasionally, it all gets a little too much. Not one thing in particular, just a culmination of all the pressures and stresses under which we all, me, cleo and the girls are living right now. Most of the time if its only cleo, or me, the other will pull them out of it, and it is not too much of a problem.

Today, however, cleo was not feeling too well, and I was feeling stressed myself.

The lot of a carer pales into insignificance compared to the plight of the stroke victim, of course, but sometimes the worry and stress that I feel weighs so heavily: am I doing it right, will i remain well enough to care for cleo, can i provide everything that she and the girls need, and so on. Even the silliest things can sometimes seem so important, like the kitchen is untidy or the carpet needs vacuuming. All these things, just once in a while happen at the same time, and one feels the pressure all together, and that was how it was for me today.

I snapped (verbally) at cleo at dinner time, and went off upstairs in a huff. Of course she got upset, so did the girls, and it is then so difficult to make amends.

Earlier today we got a call from the newly assigned rehab/physio from the intermediate care team, who is coming to see cleo tomorrow. We will keep an open mind and see how that goes.
James' physio this afternoon was gentle in the sense that cleo told him she wasn't feeling so good, and before the physiotherapy he insisted on taking her blood pressure just to be sure that everything was ok, and of course it was.

I suffer from high blood pressure too, and take a daily cocktail of various pills to ensure that mine stays under control, and to that end this evening I have ordered online a home blood pressure monitor which we can use to keep an eye on both of us. Of course this will not make it better, but it might give an early indication of trends that otherwise we might miss, and which will enable a visit to the doctor before what might be a simple thing becomes major.