Day 70 - 10 weeks...

TEN weeks into cleo's Road to Recovery, and sometimes it seems that the time has flown by, while there are also times when it seems like an age. I suppose that when the stroke happened we all became very tied up with the daily hospital visits along with the preparations for Christmas. There just didn't seem enough time in the days to get all the things done that needed doing. Now when i look back on the last 10 weeks it seems so far away, that morning in November when cleo had the stroke. Some of the memories that I thought would remain vividly in my mind seem to have faded somewhat, receeding into the daily rounds that have taken over of physiotherapy, and adjusting to living in what we must admit is a very different way compared to before.

One of the things which strikes me the most is how organised we have to be now; how much more "planned" things have to be. cleo and i are very impulsive people, we would simply jump into the car and go shopping, fitting in all sorts of things around the day, and generally flying about. Not so any more. To go shopping has to be planned, and time has to be allowed, for getting cleo into and out of the car.

We always liked to do things together, rarely spending time apart except when I was at work, and even now we try not to, although there are times when I have to go out and get shopping or do other things which mean we cannot always go together. I find this very frustrating, because I feel guilty if I have to leave her at home, even for a few minutes. I know cleo feels the same, because neither of us enjoys being away from the other.

This coming week heralds the start of the supposed home visiting from the care team. My first impressions of the way these teams want to manage their visiting seems based upon the fact that a large percentage (how many i don't know) of their patients (clients/customers, call them what you will) are housebound or too old to go out much. Many of these people are probably very happy to have visitors every day. In our case of course we are different: the care team will need to fit in around us, and I am sure that we will have some clashes with them in this respect over the coming months.

"Hello, I just wanted to let you know I am popping round this afternoon to check on your ability to make tea. Can you remember how to make tea?"
"Sorry, you can't, I won't be here"
"Oh, but I need to come and visit you. Any particular reason why I can't?"
"Yes. I am getting married today...."
"Oh.. OK, I'll call tomorrow then, and we'll do some walking stick aerobics"
"What about the tea making?"
"Oh no, we only do tea on tuesdays"

Yes, I know its a slightly cynical view, but thats sort of how it is, isn't it.

I suppose that as cleo becomes slightly more independent, and we (the family) become better equipped at organising ourselves around her needs and abilities, the need for outside intervention becomes less and less. Eventually, we may even come to resent the intrusion, but I hope that won't happen. We will need to manage the care team to suit our needs rather than the other way round.

And finally I will leave you all with a thought:

"A crisis allows us the opportunity to dig deep into the reservoirs of our very being, to rise to levels of confidence, strength, and resolve that otherwise we didn't think we possessed. Through adversity, we come face to face with who we really are and what really counts."
Jon Huntsman, self-made American billionaire, author of Winners Never Cheat