Day 58 - Counting the days

WE made a sort of agreement with james today: he will work mainly on her arm, and we will concentrate on cleo's leg, and walking. Of course we will be guided by James but we feel that we can progress the leg as there is movement and even a little control there now, whereas james' expertise can be far better deployed in trying to get something happening in cleo's arm.

WE had already talked at length today ourselves about cleo doing some more exercises, both specific to her stroke rehabilitation, and more general ones to help her fitness. She even managed, with my help to get on the exercise bike and ride for 20 minutes which no doubt will help her leg and ankle movement, as well as creating some muscle tone throughout her whole body, which after all these weeks is no doubt lacking. The thinking here is that 45 minutes each day of physio is not going to get her where she wants to be, that has to be done through much hard work every day, and for hours and hours if needs be. She has made that choice and i for one agree that is the way to go.

cleo is driven by the fact that she feels she does not want to be a burden on us: she hates relying on other people for the most basic of things, and she has vowed to try and make my life easier (I really don't mind, because it's what I do, looking after her in every way) because she thinks I am getting run down by having to look after her. However there is no better incentive than something you really want, and this is one of those choices that cleo has made; it will of course help her to focus on becoming more independent.

James spent a long time today working on her arm and hand, which is very painful right now, but she endures that because she knows she must. It is worth it because when she pushes herself like that the results are obvious: extended movement and reach in her left arm, but as yet no real control at all. The biceps seem to be working a little, and the triceps "fire" occasionally when stimulated, although as yet not voluntarily. If only we could see some real sign (even a little one!) that something is happening in her hand and lower arm. All the while this does not happen I know cleo gets quite despondent. She has always been an impatient person (I want it, and I want it NOW) and becomes very frustrated if she doesn't see results quickly. For now we have to keep going, and I am sure in time the results will come.

The time frame is difficult to estimate. Most "recovery" that there will be from stroke happens within a period of about 90 days (purely an average of course, which varies from person to person). After this time it is said that while there may still be some further improvement and recovery, from then on it is often about learning to adapt and use what you have at that point. Getting control and practice is then something that is best done by the patient, rather than physiotherapists, and on many sites I have seen accounts which say that a particular action may take 12 or more months to perfect, through sheer hard work and exercise.

As we are only at day 58 since the stroke there is still much scope for further recovery in terms of cleos neurological and muscle action. She has of course shown huge improvement since the 21st November, and I for one am still convinced that with determination and willpower, as well as the support that we are happy to give her, she will walk in her high heels again, and she will get use in her hand.

It won't be easy, and it wont be quick, but it will happen, of that I have no doubt at all.

Counting the Days

No, not since the stroke, but something that happened a while before that. Today is the 4th anniversary of my coming here to kent to move in with cleo and the girls. I have to say that these 4 years have been the happiest ones of my life. They are the family I never had, and I am so proud to be able to call them mine. Nothing, not even a stroke can stop me giving thanks to whoever or whatever guided me to find cleo and for us to fall in love, but I am eternally grateful for the opportunity and i cherish every day since 17th january 2002.

I look forward to many more years of the same. Thank you my cleo. I love you.