Day 76 - Not enough time

I hate weekends! Yes I know I have said it loads of times before, but it bears saying again. Today, I got home at 8am, after having to negotiate a huge (30 mile) detour on the way home because the A2 trunk road was closed. We had breakfast and by 9.30 I was asleep. cleo woke me about 3pm, and then it was out the door again by 4pm, and back to work.

This is the problem with a job that requires 12 hour shifts, and is also 1½ hours travelling time from home. Even though I only work three nights I feel terribly guilty that cleo is left all that time at home. She suffers in silence mostly, and we accept that it must happen, but it still hurts, and I am sure we both wish that there were another way. When we decided to come downstairs this morning for breakfast, knowing I had to sleep, cleo started to walk down the stairs, with my help, and a few steps down she opted to do the rest on her backside. The process of walking downstairs is quite slow right now, and she certainly feels the strain in her right leg, knee and hips. I guess it's about working at it, and strengthening the muscles that are out of practise, as well as becoming better at distributing weight more evenly. That of course will come with time, but I know that she feels very unsteady, and rather precarious at the top of the stairs, having to step down onto her bad leg (which is how it's done, or you cannot support yourself on your good leg as you step).

It is very difficult for us to realise how much of a strain it must be for cleo, every movement is an effort, and I am sure that is one of the reasons she gets so tired. there are simply not enough hours in each day to allow us more time together.