Day 5 - A Womans Work....

One interesting point that has come out this week, not only for me, but for the girls too, and we talked about it this evening before going to the hospital, was how do "mums" do it? Do what you ask? Do everything, what mums do. Now we three have been sorting ourselves this week and still we forget stuff. Things that just happen at the right time when cleo is around: washing, ironing, dinner, medication, cleaning, putting the rubbish out, and a million other things too.

How on earth a mum manages it I have no idea. I certainly couldn't.

More fainting

I called the hospital at lunchtime to be told that cleo had again had a similar fainting episode to yesterday. She was being taken away to undergo a doppler test, which measures the rate of blood passing through an artery. In this case its the carotid artery, which transports blood, and therefore oxygen directly to the brain.

The current thought is that cleos high cholesterol, which is caused along with other things by her having a condition known as "syndrome x". The cholesterol effectively builds up inside the blood vessels, making the vessel narrower. Now, what happens are two things: at the site of the narrowing, a sort of ulcerated spot can form, called a plaque, which then creates turbulence in the blood. Turbulence in blood tells the blood to clot around the plaque. A clot can then very easily be transferred to the brain. This may well be the cause of cleo's stroke.

Subsequent to the clot causing the stroke of course the lack of blood flow created by the narrowed vessel will also manifest itself in the fainting episodes that we are seeing right now.

For the moment I have put my foot down and insisted that cleo use a bed pan. However undignified it may be, her best interest is the most important factor and that is the right way to go at this time.

Along with the doppler on her carotid artery the hospital also decided that an ultrasound examination of her heart was a good plan too. This was also carried out today, and seemed to be fine: nothing to worry about there.

Science lesson over!

Willy Wonka!

I am not sure where cleo got this, but earlier in the week she expressed an interest in having a DVD player in the hospital, so she could watch films. Good idea I think, I'll get one. I want to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory she says. Now where on earth she got that from I'll never know, but having been to a local store and bought a nice little portable DVD player I am then off to get a copy of the new Johnny Depp (ahhh thats what it is.. Depp, she likes Depp) version, recently released on DVD.

So, this afternoon, I waited for cleo to come back from the Doppler test with some trepidation, because I was afraid the fainting thing may have caused her to react like yesterday. Luckily, no. When she was wheeled back into the ward, I was standing waiting. She saw me and her eyes lit up ( I love it when that happens!) and she just said "Hello my darling" in that rather little-girl voice she uses; coupled with the slur she has right now, its rather comical, but beautiful all the same. (Anyone remember Charlie Drake?).

We kissed, and held hands; there's something special about that. Not enough people these days who are over the first throes of a relationship do that. We do, and I am sure that we always will.

This last day or so, cleo has become a little more accepting of her predicament. Now I never want her to lose her fighting qualities, because that is an essential part of her make-up. What is good though at this time is that she is not continually trying to go against the good advice of those caring for her. I will add here that I have often bemoaned the seemingly lumbering nature of the beast that is the NHS, but when one sees it operate first hand, you have to admit it's a great system. There is never any question about cost, it's simply what is right for the patient at the time. Thank God we live in the UK.

The girls had got some bits together for their mum, and the evening visit included taking in pictures for her to hang around the bed, a calender printed out with suitable messages on it for the next couple of months for the days to be ticked off, and bits of ribbon and stuff to "glitter up" the bedspace. Girly stuff, but i know cleo appreciated the effort they made, and its important for me that the girls are included. They must not feel left out, they have to be a part of cleo's rehabilitation and recovery. They are so important in that. Sarah even painted her mum's toenails.

Trying to get hannah to feed her mum jelly was quite funny: Hannah eats by shoveling food into her mouth at breakneck speed, especially sweet stuff. Mum nearly drowned in orange jelly as hannah continued to add more spoonfuls to an already jelly-clogged mouth.

I am sure Hannah will get that soon enough, as long as cleo survives the next few jelly onslaughts.

I took the girls to their dads at 6pm and popped back to the hospital where we simply spent the last hour of visiting together, in each other's company. That was nice, a quiet period, and very restful. We made a deal: cleo loves tea. Real tea, PG Tips drunk from a china cup. I am taking a flask of real tea in tomorrow, with a china cup, for us to have a cup of tea together, something that we always enjoy.

So, here now, writing this, its friday evening at home. Kids are at their Dads, and i am relaxed, and hopeful that the first days of the storm are over, and we can now look forward to getting my cleo better, and home as soon as possible. Yes, its going to be a long road to recovery, and i know there will be good and bad days, and upsets, and many tears along the way, but I have the utmost belief in the power of our love, and the strength that both of us get from each other that I know we can do this, and at the end of it we will be even stronger, closer, and more in love than we are right now.